Friday, May 16, 2014

The world wants to live

The world wants to live in your heart. The only way it can do that is by tearing it open, and it's doing its damnedest to do just that. Armour yourself against that if you want. It won't make you happy. Armour just slows you down and makes you clumsy, plus it's laughably tiny before the roiling world. In any fight between you and the world, the world will win, if it has to wait til you die to do it. But the world has all the time in the world, so. At some point, on your deathbed if you wait that long, you'll quit fighting and it'll rush in: the whole beautiful heartbreaking mess of it.

Why wait til then? What are you hoping for? What are you trying to build in the meantime, with your little self that doesn't know it's shot through with world-stuff? That doesn't know it's an agent of the big living thing that wants to keep living? The thing that made you from itself and will eat you when the time comes? The thing that keeps shouting at you for help? Must be something pretty impressive, man. Must be something pretty urgent. Something somehow more urgent - sorry, I'M JUST BUSY DOING SOMETHING, BE THERE IN LIKE 5 SECONDS, REALLY! - than the thing that made you and lets you keep breathing. It must be pretty amazing, and when you've got a second - cos I know you're very busy - I'd love to know what that could possibly be. Cos when the world put that question to me I couldn't come up with anything, but what do I know? I don't know much. Except that I am a tiny speck made from a world that fiercely FIERCELY wants to live, and for the moment anyway that seems to be enough to keep me occupied. So. X


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